A New Mix

I heard about Heath Ledger's death and I couldn't help but be reminded of River Phoenix. A great, young, nonconformist actor who died at way too young an age. I can't help but be a bit angry though. Of course, we don't know the details, but if drugs were involved I can't be as sympathetic as I want to be. This man always seemed like a down-to-earth, talented, sweet man who avoided celebrity trappings...but if he's hanging out in Mary-Kate Olson's apartment popping pills when he has a two-year-old child who needs a father, then I don't know what to think. I'm holding off on any judgment because nobody deserves that, and he doesn't seem like the type of man who would think himself so invincible, and he doesn't seem like a guy who would need artificial substances to enhance his life. But I of all people also know the extremes to which one will go to escape problems. What did I do to escape? Lean on people (often on too large a scale). Distract myself with movies, friends, not being alone. Buy things I couldn't afford. That was the way I dealt, because I knew that drugs or alcohol would only make things worse...not that drug-use even crossed my mind, because I'm so staunchly against that in my own life. But can I see how others would turn to substances to escape their pain? Sure. I'm not in the position to judge anyone, because I too have my addictions-- namely, people. And we all have our ways of dealing. But my prayers are with Michelle, who I'm sure still has strong feelings for Heath, and baby Matilda, whose life will never be the same.
It's an unlikely way to follow these statements, and perhaps inappropriate, but I was planning on making a new love song mix today, and I'm going to continue with that plan. I call it "Love, But Never Typical." To me a love song is something that explores the processes of falling in and out of love, the highs and lows, not just the candy floss moments you hear on adult contemporary stations. I've been far from ordinary in my own love life. "I love you" has been difficult to say and those words have only been spoken to one person; there have been lots of tears; codependency issues abounded; but I've also experienced lots of laughter, intimacy, and growth in my romantic life over the years. Always a mix, but (at least recency) always with far more good than bad. And never, never typical.

1) My Back Pages by The Byrds
2) Fell in Love at 22 by Starflyer 59
3) Summer, Highland Falls by Billy Joel
4) Come Pick Me Up by Ryan Adams
5) C'mon C'mon by Sheryl Crow
6) Just Like Heaven by The Cure
7) Troubled Times by Fountains of Wayne
8) You and the Mona Lisa by Shawn Colvin
9) Goodbye Song by The Abandoned Pools
10) Always by Rilo Kiley
12) Don't Look Back in Anger by Oasis
13) Let My Love Open the Door by Pete Townshend
14) Chariots Rise by Lizzie West
15) On Your Porch by The Format
16) These Are Days by 10,000 Maniacs
17) Momentary Thing by Something Happens
18) Broken Hearted Me by Anne Murray (which may be the most depressing song ever)
19) In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel
20) Green Apples by Chantal Kreviazuk