22 March 2009

it's so cold in Alaska


"Stephanie says
That she wants to know
Why she's given half her life
To people she hates now
Stephanie says
When answering the phone
What country shall I say is calling
From across the world
But she's not afraid to die
The people all call her Alaska
Between worlds so the people ask her
'Cause it's all in her mind
It's all in her mind
Stephanie says
That she wants to know
Why it is though she's the door
She can't leave the room
Stephanie says
But doesn't hang up the phone
What sea shell she is calling
From across the world
But she's not afraid to die
The people all call her Alaska
Between worlds so the people ask her
'Cause it's all in her mind
It's all in her mind
She asks you is it good or bad
It's such an icy feeling
It's so cold in Alaska
It's so cold in Alaska"

We shouldn't be like Stephanie.  We should always be our own room, not the door...and we should never be forced to feel like Alaska.  Of course it would get icy, being adrift and alone-- being an interloper, feeling like an uncongenial alien.  This is why the muses protest (I am reading a book about the artists' muses right now).  They do not want to be above the world, but of it.  The room, not the door.  I feel like in this place, in this city of politics and veneer, there is a lack of connection.  I long to sparkle the world and yet sometimes I agree-- it's so cold in Alaska.
That's why I am so glad that I started this blog over a year ago.  Every time I feel alone-- like Jane Eyre or another one of my Victorian heroines-- I get a glimpse of a footprint in the sand.  Have you ever seen The Apartment?  You all are the Jack Lemmon to my Shirley MacLaine.
"It's a wonderful thing, dinner for two."

"Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an iceberg
Waiting to change
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like the water."

"Am I melting?
Please be happy
One day soon we might just swim
The moral to the story goes
Never leave your heart in a box
Locked up, with cold cold ice..."

"Now I'm no Jackanory
But this is allegory
We run to the world but we creep indoors
And I know I need you more now
To run and never turn around
Sparkle the world with what Alice found
And you, fall on me, and smash the TV
Rip out the stupid phone, we need a conversation
You feel this time
To be just mine is to shake the world alive."

2 comments:

Unknown said...

one of my favorite songs and definitely a cure for the blues!~ (you can't help feel nico's pain...it is so tragically beautiful.)

Caroline Cakewise said...

"We should always be our own room, not the door..." Truer words were nver spoken, my lovely. This was a gorgeous post. Loneliness seems to be in my bones... I always feel that I would rather be by myself - except for my dear camerado - until I find someone sparkling enough to spend my time with. I agree - since I started writing and reading blog posts from theheart, all the fabulous Old Romantics like yourself make me feel a bit less alone. xxx