06 October 2010

Thank you India, thank you frailty...

Honestly, the last few days have not been easy. I've alternated between poles of feeling fine and comforted, and then utterly depressed and despondent. I've gone between thinking myself beautiful and admiring my independence, to bemoaning my failings and looking at his profile...with a relationship status and wall postings that he's still (still!) neglected to tell me about. Thank you, social networking newsfeed, for messing with my mind.
But no matter. I've forced myself to start completing daily gratitude lists so that I don't forget that even though some big aspects of my life have strayed from the desired path, there are still plenty of daily joys. I am lucky, even though I may not acknowledge it sometimes.
I'm reading Our Town with the ninth-graders right now, and I can't help but see its applicability to my current circumstances. On the surface, my life may seem mundane, but it still has unique jewels that shine through; I have attempted to relive the past, but like Emily Webb, I've come to learn that there is beauty in the present: "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it-- every, every minute?"
I have to believe that things will get better, a faith in the future which may negate my attempts to live in the present. This mixtape illustrates those hopes, so I call it "Better."

1. "Better Things" by The Kinks
2. "There's Gotta Be Something Better Than This" from Sweet Charity
3. "Today Will Be Better, I Swear" by Stars
4. "Good Times Gonna Come" by Aqualung
5. "This Is Where It Gets Good" by Eels
6. "Better" by Regina Spektor
7. "Feeling Good" by My Brightest Diamond
8. "It's Gettin Better (Man!)" by Oasis
9. "The Good Stuff" by Schuyler Fisk
10. "I'm Gonna Make It Better" by She & Him
11. "Pretty Good Year" by Tori Amos
12. "Closer to Fine" by Indigo Girls
13. "Daydream Believer" by the Monkees
14. "Nobody Does It Better" by Radiohead
15. "Be Good to Yourself" by Journey
16. "Beautiful World" by Coldplay
17. "Good Heart" by the Mynabirds
18. "Better Days" by Goo Goo Dolls
19. "For Good" from Wicked
20. "At My Most Beautiful" by R.E.M.
21. "On Top of the World" by the Carpenters
22. "They Can't Take That Away From Me" by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong
23. "Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House
24. "Up on the Roof" by James Taylor and Carole King
25. "Darlin Do Not Fear" by Brett Dennen
26. "Don't Look Back" by O.M.D.
27. "Learnalilgivinanlovin" by Jens Lekman
28. "What Me Worry" by St. Vincent

What songs would be on your "Better" mix? Please share! I need as much magical music as I can get.

"you always said I was a dreamer
but now I know who's dreaming deep"
~stars~

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